Thursday, February 10, 2011

Capital "t" Truth

I just watched the movie, Harvey, with James Stewart again tonight.  Its about a man who is kind and lovely and gracious and he is generous and thoughtful and polite to all of those whom he meets.

His family think he is insane since he lives in a reality separate from theirs so they try to get him committed to a mental hospital because they are embarrassed by him.  As the movie unfolds the audience observes a clash of realities.  Originally, it appears that there are two separate realities but as the story unfolds there are many characters with their own notions of what is reality and the capital “t” Truth gets muddled.  It is a gorgeous film if you are in the mood for a patient, loving, intelligent story written by Mary Chase combined with the stellar performance of Jimmy Stewart; I encourage you to see it.

As a human race, we all hold our own idea of what is reality, on many things we all agree, collectively, and on others we do not.  We need only look at the great clashes of ideologies that exist in the world.  this is evident in the world on both a macro and a micro level.  This movie reminds me that it is the love and patience and kindness that we offer to each other that is most important.  Is it really all that important for us all to agree on one simple truth or can we simply have our own truth that exists in our own hearts and minds and then open those hearts and minds to each other and accept our differences?  Such a simple idea and yet so difficult to carry out or hold in our hearts when we wish to have control or when we get confused about what it is to feel connected/intimate… and yet we can connect through our differences just as we can through our similarities; as long as we offer the kindness and graciousness to each other that we all deserve we can achieve peace in our life.  Do you value peace, graciousness, politeness, kindness?

Intimacy is not based in similarity.  Into me see.  We can connect with each other and see into each other even though we have differences, even though we hold different things to be true, ie, we have different beliefs and ideas.  I propose that the next time you are frustrated by another or feel the need to tell them the real truth, as you see it, stop for a moment and really listen and accept the other person, see them as a being deserving of total patience and kindness and graciousness and respect.  What do you notice?  What opens up for you?

I encourage you, the next time you are frustrated or angered with another, see what you can create by becoming kindness, patience, love and politeness in the situation.  What do you notice?

When you watch the movie you may notice what happens when we force our truth on another.  You also may have noticed something similar in your own life with a friend, family member, co-worker, or spouse this week.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Be Real, Be You, You are Amazing and Truly Loveable

What is the real you?  What is most valuable to you in life?  What is most valuable to you about life?  How can you create more of that in your life?  And ... if there is no way to create that in your life might you entertain the possibility that your values are not representing your true and real purpose?  Would you like to live in a world where you can create what you most value?  Okay then, go about creating it.

When I was working on creating the life I wanted,  on having a real and true partner with whom to share my life and to share in the life of that partner I did a lot of self discovery.  One of the most helpful suggestions was made by a woman who suggested that I create a list of all of the attributes that I wanted in a mate; then, she said, set about being that person myself!!  How amazing!  I could actually have the valuable things I wanted in a mate by encompassing them in my own life.  For example, one or two things on my long list were that I wanted someone compassionate and kind and someone dedicated to learning and to charting their own course in life ... and when I worked to become all of the things I wanted to find in a partner I was simply happier.  I did find a partner who encompassed all of the things on my list ... and more!!

I know that you know what is most important to you and what will create the most happiness in your life... your values in life will most likely cover all of the parts of your life, even if you keep your work and personal life separate, don't the core values that drive you exist in both places?

I have a friend who says that when she is sharing her warmth with others she feels more like her true and real self.  Isn't it interesting how that works?  That is a true win/win situation.  Certainly there are times when we need balance.  Not always when we offer our service to others is it a win/win situation.  When is it a win/win for you?  Where would you like to focus your energy now? 


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The children are waiting to hear a story about the bald frog who wears a wig:

When I was setting up my profile on this blog site there was an option to be asked a different question, something other than birthday, interests, favourite books, etc.  I chose that option and I got the random question above, "The Children Are Waiting to Hear a Story About the Bald Frog who Wears a Wig:"  My answer was too long but since I wrote it I decided to post it!  What the hay!!

There once was a bald frog named Frednelope.  Frednelope beleived that he was bald and so he went to the Beaver and asked if he could use some of his twine and grasses to make a wig for himself.  The beaver was busy making his dam but he gave Frednelope something to make his wig.  Frednelope made a fine wig and wore it proudly. 

He was hoping that no one would notice it was a wig and so he lay on his lily pad in the sun as if nothing was out of the ordinary.  Snerdafrazz the Snake came by and asked why on earth Frednelope had a bush on his head.  Frednelope slumk down into the water feeling badly and swam away.  Later Frednelope ran into his good friend Dramonery the Duck.  Dramonery saw the wig but said nothing, he just asked Frednelope how he was ... Frednelope said he felt sad since his wig was a laughing stock. 

Dramonery asked Frednelope why he was wearing it.  Frednelope said he was wearing it because he was bald.  Dramonery told Frednelope that all frogs are bald and that it was Okay to be bald and to be green and that he loved Frednelope's bald greenness.  This made Frednelope feel much better and so he now noticed that no other frogs in his family had hair and that no frogs at all had hair and he felt so much better about being bald!  Sometimes it takes the awareness of a friend to point out the obvious to us!

A Poetic Life

If you were to close your eyes and imagine your life in every way exactly as you would like it to be .... are the things you imagine available to you?  Do you believe that they are within your control to create?  If you said anything but yes you might be incorrect. 

I remember when my nephew was in 7th grade and he was asked to analyse a poem.  My sister and I tried to ask questions of him so that he would see the symbolism in the poetry.  We remarked, afterward, how amazingly literal his views were then, as a young boy.   Now he is studying toward a degree in psychology and he is amazingly able to see symbolism and read poetry deeply and he plans to get his PhD one day.  What if we did this with our lives?  What if we continue to grow in our awareness and abilities and set our sights toward these goals?

Do you see everything literally or can you see the magic of your life as poetic?  I remember reading about Jill Kinmont, the Olympic hopeful skiier who became paralized at a young age.  She said much later that when she got quiet with herself and closed her eyes she could still feel herself ski ...  What is that about?  Did you know that your body recognizes some benefit, both physiologically and psychologically, from imagining your self doing physically active things, even if you are simply sitting in a chair?  That is a proven fact.

Every moment is an opportunity to learn and to grow.  Every moment is an opportunity.  Life is a tremendous gift and no matter if you are bedridden or an athlete life is a gift.  You can create the life that you wish to have ... right now!

Moments of Change

The one thing that is constant in life is change.  We are born and we grow up and we grow older and we die, on average, and there is a lot of change in all of that.   Many of us yearn for sustainability and constancy.  Sometimes, and some people, can create happiness, compassion and love in their lives no matter what the circumstances nor how they change. 

I have a friend who beautifully adapts to changes and she has a secret!  Want to know what it is?  She says that she keeps one or two things constant.  Her outlook is constant.  She sees the world as manageable and she sees herself as capable no matter what; the next thing that is constant for her is that she knows that change is inevitable and so when she comes upon larger changes in life they fit in with her world view so she can handle them well.  Within her world view is the knowledge that she has boundaries and limits.  She can identify her limits.  She knows that she can cope.

For a simple example, she knows that when her child jumps on her bed and breaks it, she knows she can live with a broken bed for a year.  That is about how long it will take to save the money to replace her bed and frame so all is well.  Now, some changes are tragic and catastrophic and yet the mind set and belief system that is most supportive is the one where we know our own selves inside and we know that we can muster up our own immeasurable power to survive and to adapt and to change and to grow. 

This notion of capability and self confidence is immeasurably powerful.  When we awaken to our own capabilities and our own powerful abilities to adapt and to be in FLOW with the world then its so much easier to be happy and to feel free and to feel love in stead of fear.   This also allows us to freely and directly become who we really are ... powerful, loving, knowing, brilliantly aware beings of compassion.